


Project Update #112: Orphi, Your Personal Underworld Portal by Lyresong Designs LLC

by Wasuremono



Category: Help Me Follow My Sister into the Land of the Dead - Carmen Maria Machado
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Necromancy, Unconventional Format, crowdfunding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 15:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wasuremono/pseuds/Wasuremono
Summary: Nothing lasts forever -- not even crowdfunded necromancy devices. Maybe especially not crowdfunded necromancy devices.





	Project Update #112: Orphi, Your Personal Underworld Portal by Lyresong Designs LLC

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FaintlyMacabre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaintlyMacabre/gifts).



> Disclaimer: while inspired by Carmen Maria Machado's short story, this is less a direct piece of fanfiction about it and more a riff on its format and content. This may not be of interest to all parties. 
> 
> Happy Yuletide, FaintlyMacabre! I really loved your prompt and hope this hits the spot.

**Orphi, Your Personal Underworld Portal**

created by Lyresong Designs LLC

7,958 backers pledged $4,538,292 to help bring this project to life.

You're a backer. View pledge

* * *

**Update #112**

**Sundowning the Orphi**  
posted 5 days ago by Lyresong Designs LLC

Hi, everybody! Jenny from Lyresong here. We've been pretty quiet lately, but we've had a whole lot on our plates. As you know, our founder Carson McKeever went missing about six months ago (and we appreciate all the signal boosting about it! Keep #SummonCarson trending!), and with him out of contact on any plane of reality, we've struggled to maintain our institutional knowledge, as well as continue important relationships with vendors and manufacturing partners. Recent legislation has drastically complicated our reagent supply pipeline, and you've all seen the problems we've had keeping our Reagent Paks in stock. Furthermore, without Carson's vision guiding our team, we've had a lot of internal debates about the right direction for Lyresong and the Orphi. We've had a lot of very hard conversations. We've had a lot of very hard cries. We've had our own Orphis running nonstop to consult the wisdom of our ancestors. It's been a long few months!

It's with a heavy heart that I tell you that we've decided to discontinue support for the current generation of the Orphi hardware. We realize this may be a difficult time for you loyal Orphinauts who have used the Orphi to summon, communicate with, and bind your deceased loved ones over the four years we've been proud to host the network, and we want to ease the transition any way we can. Here's our current timeline for sundowning the hardware:

  * We've discontinued manufacturing of Orphi devices, Reagent Paks, replacement parts, and accessories. Starting today, we'll be running a clearance sale to liquidate our remaining stock at 20% - 50% off. It's a great time to stock up before these powerful proprietary reagent blends are gone forever, or to make sure you've got plenty of hardware replacements!
  * The Orphi online-tools servers will be shut down as of 6:00 PM Pacific Time on September 23rd. After server shutdown, your Orphi will no longer download system updates or upload its data to the OrphiJourneys website, which will remain online in archive mode. However, your device will continue to function in offline mode. Make sure to pull down all your updates ASAP!



We've written a full Orphi Discontinuation Guide over here, but here are our quick tips on discontinuing use of your device:

  * The expiration dates on your Reagent Paks must be respected. Using expired Paks risks damage to your system and adverse effects to summoned or bound entities. Remember that only first-party Lyresong Reagent Paks are compatible with your Orphi! Knockoffs and third-party "compatible" reagent may damage hardware, disrupt functions, and disturb entities.
  * Prepare yourself for success in your transition by establishing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Discontinuing use of the Orphi may be emotionally stressful, so make sure you have good sleep hygiene, eat a balanced diet, and leave your portal room for fresh air regularly. Consult with professional grief counselors or necromancers if needed -- it's okay to need help!
  * Make sure that all bound spirits and entities are dismissed properly, without any "hard reboots" of your Orphi device. Consulting with them about the process can help you assess their needs for transition and provide closure before they return to the Underworld. Consult your User's Guide for more tips on responsible spirit-binding.



While we're very sad to see the Orphi device in its last days, please rest assured that this isn't the last you've seen of this project or of Lyresong. We're already tinkering with "Orphi 2.0" and other innovative products to give you a personal connection to the realms of the dead. We hope you'll keep us posted on your transitional journeys; I know I've loved watching you all share your hopes, triumphs, and personal experiences with Orphi. We're still with you every step of the way!

Safe travels, Orphinauts. Keep your two coins for the ferryman ready -- we'll be back.

Love,  
Jenny Kubota  
Lyresong Social Media Team

**Comments**

**Lorenzo Stanley** _5 days ago_  
Very sorry to see the Orphi being discontinued. I've found it the most user-friendly consumer-model portal on the market. Great UI. I'm looking forward to an improved version; have you guys considered upgrading the language modules?

 **Taylor Schneider** _5 days ago_  
oh nooooooo! So sad, good luck with next project! miss u already orphi

 **Ethel Rodriguez Solis** _5 days ago_  
Just admit it, guys: Carson got CAUGHT. You can talk about "supply pipelines" but every respectable professional in this field knows the kinds of deals you were striking to get your reagents. At your markup, you could afford to buy ethically, but instead we've seen you all engaging in the petty backstabbing that's poisoned the well for AUTHENTIC practitioners of the arts. It's the kind of corner-cutting that led to Shayvonne Bell's death and the RESTFUL Act.

Don't come back. You've done enough damage to the art.

 **Lyresong Designs LLC** _5 days ago_  
Ethel, we respect your concerns. Please read our statement about the Bell tragedy here, and feel free to email us for reagent sourcing statements.

\-- Jenny Kubota

 **Karoline Sakamoto** _5 days ago_  
Ethel, don't even argue with them, these guys are a complete chickenshit shop, no glp/gmp/gnp certs. necronos all over again, amazing they ever shipped

 **Joel Hartshead** _5 days ago_

Hey, guys, does anyone know if this adapter model fits the reagent packs? 

http://www.printways.com/maker/nekrophidious/product/25309985-Autosummoner-Adapter-5Prong

Running Blood/Ash/Tears but had my adapter break. Figure I may as well go cheap at this point.

**Lyresong Designs LLC** _5 days ago_

Joel, DO NOT use third-party hardware components with your Orphi! Lyresong is not responsible for damage to your device, reagents, or bound spirits if you use inappropriate hardware or reagent substitutions!

\-- Jenny Kubota

 **Karoline Sakamoto** _5 days ago_

lol jesus

may as well just get a funnel and pour rock salt in the chamber, can't break things any worse than the Orphi's already broken. stick a plastic bag of hamster ash in your 3d printed adapter and try to talk to meemaw on babby's first necromancing box

Seriously, Joel, that looks fine, Phid does pretty good work. just don't get the cheapest print plastic and give it a sandpaper pass before you install

 **C. J. "Jojo" Curry** _4 days ago_

Sorry to bother you guys but we're having a problem with our device! I'm on my DH's account. DH passed on and left his Orphi cluster on with all of us still bound to the chambers!! I guess he thought no "hard reboot" but forgot to turn it off??

What can we do here? I can use the wifi to connect to his computer, but can the portal talk to him while we're trapped inside? Do we need a living operator? He works Weds-Sat, so nobody'll come by before Thursday at the earliest, and it's Sunday now. How long do reagents last?

Thank you for your help!! The kids are sulking and DD2 says she "just wants to go home." Now that DH is on the other side too, I want to go back there to meet him and maybe get back to normal LOL!!

 **Lyresong Designs LLC** _3 days ago_

Mrs. Curry, we regret the delay in seeing your comment. We've dispatched an emergency necromancy tech to your address immediately! Please try to remain coherent and assist your children in doing so, so you can be unbound safely.

\-- Jenny Kubota

* * *

**Messages**

**Karoline Sakamoto** _3 days ago_

Just got back from an emergency call for our ~magic dumb friends~ lyresong. Tbf, not their fault a guy offs himself and leaves his necroboxes on, but no safeguards? Barely got the kids out as intact spirits, had to feed them half my supply of burnt knucklebone, that's getting expensed

HMU sometime. I want to hear about your new thing

 **Joel Hartshead** _2 days ago_

Hey, thanks for the quick shipping on the adapter! Looking forward to trying it. Your Printways profile said you also do reagent mixes? Can you DM me info? My Orphi's got a couple good years left in it and I want to stretch it out without getting price-gouged.

 **Shayvonne Bell** _1 day ago_

Babe. BABE. What's up? Did you salt your portal? I've been trying to get through. There's this new startup you gotta see. McKeever's back and it's wild. I think they're launching soon? I'm kinda squatting in their network right now, total GitM style, so I'll keep you posted.

Seriously, babe, talk to me. It's been so long and I've got so many stories.


End file.
